The Bench
Love, what is it, really? Somehow, the more I try to grasp the essence of it, the more elusive it gets. For starters, it is a feeling, but it is more. Much more. It differs from other feelings, like pain, excitement, joy, in that it may incapsulate every other feeling, and then add something of its own.
Love, to me, is wild, young, and free, and at the same time, calm, safe, secure. It is both close and distant, at the same time. Close, because I share something intimate with another person, distant, because it is necessary to remain an individual. The bench on the photo above symbolises the need I feel for solitude, the space that is required in order to keep in touch with myself, the room I need to reflect on my actions, my feelings, and my life as a whole. I have a very well developed melancholy side to my emotional life, that needs both feeding and room to develop. To some extent, I fear that this side of melancholy takes some toll on my life, and keeps me from being totally happy. I seem to put myself in situations that generate emotions of sadness, or sorrow. Without it, I am not whole.
You cannot love someone else, if you dont love yourself. Or, perhaps you can, but you would not be able to contribute to the relationship what is needed. At least, that is my opinion. If you don’t love yourself, or at least are sufficiently comfortable with yourself, you will not have enough leverage to make the changes that is necessary in order for the relationship to grow. A relationship needs energy, and that has to come from somewhere. It has to come from the to persons in the relationship.
The bench on the picture above is empty, however, it is an open meeting point. A place for two individuals that love each other, to get acquainted, to investigate each other intellectually. We all have to meet our lovers as individuals, and then enter into a shared space, that belong to both.
